JoJo's Carnival Party!

i tried to post some pix...but apparently it wasn't working. i tried to trouble shoot...but oh well. i can't figure out how to invite all u blogger people to view my ofoto album...does ne one know?
well anyway...we had a blast!

TODAY JONAH TURNED 4YRS OLD!!!

*LAWD I REMEMBER THIS DAY 4 YRS AGO!!!

i'm blessed to have him and all my kids. if u wanna c the pix lemme know and i'll email u the invite or send them thru yahoo messenger.

talk to u soon !

White men...the only real choice for succesful black women???

I got an email with this interview in it. I don't know if any of you have read it, but if it is authentic it is mind blowing. Still even if it isn't it made me think a whole lot! I mean, could she possibly really mean this? Is there any truth to what she is saying? Do the most successful black women begin to feel the need to be with white men?(Dorothy Dandridge, Halle Berry, Iman, Serena Williams, Tyra, etc...)
I know Trina and I have joked about finding a good white man who could take care of us...but is that the only option for the next level of relationship most black women desire?? hmmm???
There is much to be said here, but I'll reserve my comments until later, but please tell me what you think after reading the interview , oh and keep enjoying the weekend.

Subject: Serena Williams Interview

Ms. Williams we are all interested in your new boyfriend.

There is no new boyfriend . I stopped playing with boys when I stopped dating black guys. I have a new man in my life and yes, he's white.

So you prefer to date white men instead of black guys?

Let's be real. If you are a successful black female you only have two choices....date outside of your race or date other successful black females.

Are you saying there are no successful black men to date?

Of course not but lets face it, if Oprah would date outside of her race she would be married with children now. The state of most black men is so low the only thing you can do is love them. Like a poor homeless dog. You can't expect it to protect you. You can only offer shelter and love and watch as our neighbor's pit-bull protects his home and family. I, unlike Oprah, am not forced to stay within those boundaries. I was born into a new generation of black women.

So Oprah is being forced to date Stedman?

All I can say is when you find a successful black women who is not married and does not have children it is because they refuse to accept the two choices. Some may go as far as marriage to a black guy but they realize divorce is inevitable so they do not have children. Or they have children with one and don't marry in order to preserve their wealth and good credit. Oprah is one of many who silently protests being stuck with such poor choices by refusing to marry and reproduce but you can see how much it hurts her. She's always giving away money to children's charities. I hope she makes the choice to marry a non-black soon so she can have a child of her own.

But you have decided to accept the two choices?

Yes. I grew up in California around the two extremes of wealth. If I could only get myself t o try the bisexual thing I would have been much happier in my relationships. Instead I dated black men. I loved many of them but they were just not suitable for marriage. Many of them were raised by women and had warped mentalities. So I finally had to date outside my race. When I moved to Miami, I accepted my status and dated men on my level.

What do you mean by warped mentalities?

Well, where do I begin? Many of them were raised predominantly by women and had this feminine/bisexual complex. Where they wanted to be treated like a female sometimes. For example, I would have the money & they would have the sex. I would teach them things. You know, all the things a woman likes a man to do, I would end up doing for them. Then if we would get into an argument, there would be a role reversal. All of a sudden, they would be the man wanting the respect of a king in his castle. Black men over the years have become less and less of value to black women both rich and poor. I predict in 10 years they will be obsolete. Now they serve little to no function and what little they can do, they don't want to do.

Why 10 years?

That's when going to a fertility clinic to get impregnated by a sperm donor will become as common and accessible as the flu shot. Women who want sex will do it with whoever they want (girl, guy, rich, poor, white ,black) and go to the bank (the sperm bank) when they are ready to have children. Even those who waited (like Oprah) will have fertilized eggs placed inVitro. That's the day the secret organization of women is waiting for. The day when men are 100% dis-empowered.

Are you apart of that organization?

No. They're a mostly white group. Plus that day for black men is practically here already. Black women are already raising 75% of the black population without a man. When fertility clinics become! e more affordable Black women will be standing in line. It will be just like plastic surgery. Everyone laughed at Michael Jackson but its becoming so popular now, that even poor blacks are getting work done...mostly breast reductions and liposuction.

So do you want men to be dis-empowered?

Heck, no! That's why I am with a white man now. I want a man to be a man and I am not going to settle for less just to stay within racial boundaries. A Black man in my position wouldn't do it so why should I. Don't get me wrong, I love black men. My father is black, I have dated black men all my life, and if I have a male child he will be part black. But my husband and I will raise him together so hopefully he will be a worthy choice for a worthy black female. Not the only choice, or "there's nothing better out there so I'll settle for this" choice. When you are successful you want the best. The best food, clothes, places to live etc. I want the best man also.

And you think the best man is a non-black man?

I think if there's a better choice for me, God would have shown me. I am in the public so I get to meet lots of people from all over the world athletes, Celebs etc. I am wealthy so I am invited and have traveled to the most prestigious events all over the world. Out of all those people, places and events....I had to choose the right man for me. Like it or not (with very few exceptions) a white man is the only real choice for a successful black female

Peace, Fun & Time and a Half

things are looking up...
i'm happy me and my gurl are kool!!! friday my school is over and I take my final exam,
*biting my finger nails* I'm hoping for the best!
I'm also so excited about Memorial Day because the kids are off and my baby boy's birthday is May 31! Not to mention I'm working Sunday night which counts as the holiday! *cheering*
(somebody say holiday pay...babayyyy!...lol) and STILL be off Monday. lol (get wit it!)

speaking of which this weekend I am throwing him a Carnival Birthday Party.
Folx are gonna think I'm crazy...but, how long are your kids little?
I appreciate my kids so much now.
I feel like a sure 'nuff momma. I mean, I always loved them but didn't quite know how to appreciate them until the last 3 years. Growing up has taught me a lot, growing closer to God has challenged me mostly to be a good mother and probably losing my mother has made me always consider what legacy I'll leave my children when I'm gone. Spiritually first, but materially as well.
all that to say...we're gonna have fun and create memories while today is here,
u heard?
n e way, we are having a 15ft moon bounce, a person dressed as a "hobo clown", cotton candy, popcorn, games and face painting and I might be more excited then the kids. I done spent a month buying prizes...we counted last night and we have 55 prizes!
(dollar store and walmart, girrrl get on it!)
and the prizes are better than chuckie cheeses sorry prizes. you'll get two stickers for 500 tickets! humph! pishposh on that! lol
*ur girl is the queen of bargains and event planning...look out 4 tha pix!

So n e way, in the event that i'm too busy to check back in with you...have a WONDERFUL and BLESSED and mostly FUN Memorial Day Weekend.
ya'll know I luv u!

Hey there...

There is some real highschool azz stuff going on in my life right now. But, I'm a bigger girl than all of it...so as much as it has frustrated me, I'm moving on. Que sera sera, u know?

On a happy note, I am halfway done my class and I will be taking my state exam the week after next! So pray for me, I'm sure it'll be fine. I decided to go to this class because a series of events turned me in this direction. I had not previously planned to do it. But my past 5 classes have sparked something in me, that I wasn't sure was there. I'm excited about the prospects.
I have an opportunity to work in a nonprofit organization as part of the leadership for a commmunity homeownership program. It's awesome.

Other than that stuff, things are good. I actually had a BEAUTIFUL mother's day. Much of my family, including a cousin from North Dakota and his new baby, as well as my brother and the twins were there. Also two old friends surprised my brother and I and showed up...that made my night. I smiled and laughed all day and night. It was just a very loving day. I won gift basket at church for being the youngest mother in tha building. :)
Then I sat and kissed and hugged my nephews the rest of the day.
It was nice just being around the people that I love!


Side note *** I am SO happy Danielle won America's Next Top Model!!!
I thought the black girl streak was over...lol. But I'm glad it ain't.
If they woulda chose Jade and her strong looking self I was gonna be hott!!
Then I'd have to wonder if you had to look like a sister of Naima, Eva, and Jade to win?? But Danielle is beautiful and she deserved it!! What do u think about it? ***Side note end

Alright ya'll.

It's gon' b alrite

You ever had one of those moments when everything in your world just collides?
well that happened to me this past weekend.
Saturday, I had had a beautiful day spending time with my fam and friends at a cook out...
Towards the end of the day, when I shoulda been relaxing I was feelin my stress levels rising.

My kids were at the movies with my church youth ministry and I was trying to get a hold of my girl Trina to find out some pertinent info about a party we were invited to. My cell phone was off and that was stressful enuf. Every time I saw someone with a phone I tried to grab it to call her...when I finally reached her she had an attitude 'cause I wanted to know how to get there and how long it would be (since i had to get my kids, i knew i'd be late) so after hearing her fuss...the stress increased more. So I decided not to go.
On top of that, I wanted badly to spend time with my "boyfriend" and he promised that we would. However, after I picked up the kids from the church, dropped off someone and was on my way home it was about 10pm and he had NOT contacted me. When I called him, he didn't answer.I didn't wanna go out or anything...I just wanted to be with him and tell him how I was feeling. It was the day before mother's day and I was missing my mom so much.

My ride home was solemn. The kids had been tired out, so they were all sleep. And the radio was quiet, it was a full moon...all I could hear were my thoughts. I felt the tears in my eyes but I was still determined NOT to cry. It might seem like nothing but to me... it was overwhelming.
I thought about the people in my life, who I thought would be there forever but won't. I thought about the disappointment of being taken advantage of and not valued, I thought about so many things and of course missing my mother.
Once I got home, I tossed and turned in the bed until I fell asleep only to be awakened by a 1:30 am phone call from the man I was waiting to hear from.
He had no excuse or explanation...in fact somehow it was my fault that we weren't gonna see each other.I felt fire in my gut...even in my sleepy state. I hung up.

Life is full of a whole bunch of ups and downs...but those tears that were welling up seemed to be telling me something...like it's gonna be okay. Don't they say that the endorphines released when you cry help comfort and heal? Well, I don't know...but I know that a lot of the things I was thinking about still occur to me and hurt. But I know it's gon' be alrite.

*ps..I wanted to tell my best friend Greg thank you for ALWAYS being there 4 me.
Thank u 4 encouraging me last nite. i luv u.

Dear Mommy

I've been trying to get to you for the last coupla hours and finally the day is calm enough that I can sit down and write a letter to you. Today is Mother's Day and well for the last coupla days you've been especially on my mind. It's not that I don't think of you everyday, and it's not that this holiday is my sole reminder...It's just that as I watch people buy things for their moms, the mall filled with last minute shoppers, and folx taking thier moms to eat or to the spa,
I long for you.
I could spend the time I have here to catch you up on all that's gone on in these past years...
but I won't do that.
Rather I'll just let you know what I would say to you if you were here...
Mommy, I miss being able to pick up the phone and tell you all about my problems, who I had a crush on and who broke my heart. I wanna talk to you about the moves I'm making in my life and if I'm being the best mom that I can be.
More than that mommy, I just wanna take you out. Sit in my car for a change...take a load off, let me drive. What do you wanna do? You know shopping is right up my alley...how bout some new shoes? Shoes For Her was our stop...wanna check in there? Or what about some figurines, I haven't bought any since, whew, it's been quite a while. But I've held on to "the beast" and the little egyptian girl u bought me at that show we went to.
I miss you so much...
I never got a chance to buy you that "just my size" bra...lol...we laughed about it, but I was really gonna get it. :)
And I know I promised you that I'd polish your toes, but I'll just take you to the spa and let them handle my light work...they'll do it much better anyway.
I miss lying in the bed with you and having our girl talks...letting our tears fall on our pillows.
I miss that.
You were right about LaMar...and real estate school and so much else. I just wanna tell you...mom you were right! I know you wouldn't say "I told you so" but I'd give anything to hear you say those words to me.
I went in a store today...a store that you loved. I almost gasped when I walked in...the tears wanted to flow, but I held them back. I saw something.
I thought that if you were here I'd buy it for you. I knew you'd have loved it...mommy it was a beautiful shadow box frame that had this collage in it about mother's. I decided to buy it anyway and to have it engraved with your name on it...Happy Mother's Day.

I get angry sometimes, because I'll never hold u again...look down on ur head or make jokes with you. No more pictures of us...no more chatter about this and that. No more heart to hearts...
Who'll ever love me like that?
I think I've searched...in friendships and beyond.
Hoping to feel just a touch of what u gave me.
But what you left me with was a true understanding of what love is...that's why I can't settle for less for very long. Most importantly, you taught me that when no one else was there...JESUS.
I have never forgotten and He has brought me through.
I know I won't ever touch you here on this earth again...but just know that I thank God for you...that indeed I rise up and call you BLESSED and I wish that you were here so that I could tell you face to face.
I miss you, I love you...can't wait to see you again.

Chandra

Making Moves!!

Hey there peoples!!
it's been a long time, i shouldn'ta left u.... (alrite that's corny)
But n e way, how u been??
I think it's been blog hiatus season as a couple of my good blog friends have been blogging a lot less, it's spring fever or something...I got it!

So let's see, what's going on?? Me? still hitting the gym and I promise to post new pix but maybe now, not until the first week of june. I felt like I wasn't losing, but a recent weigh in made me smile!!! It's working...phew!

The kids are doing good and Jonah will be 4 this month (did I tell u that?) and I'm throwing him a carnival party!! I'm so excited! I can't even tell u...hit me up if u want an evite. We are gonna have at least 7 games, and a craft table, a prize table and a face painting station...
We're having hotdogs, cotton candy, and pop corn....and I think a clown on stilts..lol
The kids r gonna be scurred...why do we get clowns? Kids DON'T like them!

Also, I am starting real estate class next week, Trina is gonna be taking the classes with me. It is a two week course. Getting into real estate has always been a long term goal, but let me tell you how God has truly been ordering my steps and I'm going strictly because of His guidance...it was never in MY plan. So it is another exciting chapter in my life. side note: TTD...girl, you really should try a good revival. If you go expecting you will come away changed and empowered!

Speaking of which, church has been wonderful...but on another level. I don't know..maybe it's me. Someone asked me to sing that song Yesterday by Mary Mary in July...
I thought that was great...When I first heard that song,
I said to myself "One day I might have that kind of vocal range!" Them girls be sangin!!
So I'm praying on that.

Well...everything else is kool. I just got involved in another business venture too. :)
A sista got her hand in a little of everything. lol. The business is called Fortune High-Tech Marketing, it's a pretty lucrative endeavor and I'ma work it a little sumthing.
If you're interested in finding out about it you can by attending a tele-conference:

The conference is Wednesday May 10th @ 10:00pm (sharp)
If you have a computer with internet access you need to go to
http://Presenternet.com
Click on ATTEND A PRESENTATION
The room name: AKINYELA
password : 12345
enter your name
THEN CALL 641-920-3223
AND LISTEN IN...THAT'S IT.

If you don't have internet access at home, that's ok....
just call 219-990-6983
AND LISTEN IN!
Lemme know what u think...my business website is http://fhtmus.com/chandra_b_1999

I'll be around, I miss ya'll!!

Just saying hello...

I haven't had much time to blog...
I have been really busy and trying to get things in order here in my life.
I'm still working out and tryna get this weight off of me.

My church is currently in revival and yesterday was the first day
it really was wonderful and the message really challenged me.
I was able to pray with my friend who has been depressed and feeling unloved and I was able to take the time out to talk with her and pray with her...and that really blessed me.

Otherwise everything is good with me...I hope all you in blogland are doing good...
writing funny posts, tagging folx and the whole nine.
I'll be back shortly.

smooches!!