relationships

i just thought it would b cute to post this pic. this is me and my ex-boyfriend (not husband) lmbo. he and i are still very kool. but i just got news that he is not doing so well...and it just makes me sad. but i hope that his life can be turned around. **hey u, in the pic...u won't read this, at least for a few months. but i pray for you often. God loves you baby, and so do i.

i was thinking today...

actually for the last few weeks, relationships and love have been on my mind.

but i'm not referring to just relationships with the opposite sex, but in general.

i have learned so much over the past 7 weeks that my church has been collectively doing a study called 40 Days of Community. It has done wonders for me to clarify a lot of things, and to emphasize the importance of relationships. God made us to have friendships and family relationships...it is not by chance, we need each other, we make each other better, we strengthen each other, we encourage each other, we bring joy and happiness to one another, and we help complete each other.

i was recently shocked at this girl i know...i heard her telling someone that she didn't like her family, so she wasn't gonna spend the holidays with them. rather, she opted to stay home alone. her entire immediate family was together and wanted her to come...but she didn't care. i was amazed at that.

one of the major things that i've learned is that all real relationships are WORK. anything that isn't tested often is not for real. it is so important to make room for people, their idiosynchrocies, bad habits or whatever else. none of us are perfect and a part of building relationships is accepting people and being understanding about those "ways" that they may have that rub us the wrong way. i sure want to be accepted and loved just like i am.

i'm not saying that we have to stay in toxic or abusive relationships, but i am saying that not everyone who does something that is irritating should be cut off. perfect example, i recently made a new friend. Her name is Tasha, she is beautiful, intelligent, and she can SANG her hiny off! but when i met Tasha...she made a comment about the Chex Mix i was eating(lmbo)...she said, "that's not good for you." i said, "you don't even know what it is." she responded, "well whatever it is, it isn't good for you." i just rolled my eyes and kept it moving. but i later told a mutual friend that i could already tell that i wasn't gonna mix well with her.

But now, I love her so much, it's stoopid. *hehehe* it has only been maybe 9 months since we first met. i honestly believe that God brought us into each other's lives right on time. we are helping each other thru some crazy stuff...even now. she pushes me. she believes in me, when i'm like, "i can't do that." she'll say, "you didn't even try." i dig that SO much. that's all i ever wanted in a friendship...i don't have to be anything but me with her. and her with me.

now how hot is that??

and just to think that i was about to dismiss her the day i met her...lmbo

yes, there r things about her that make me wanna scream. she is a bit of a perfectionist, i think she worries too much about what people think and how things appear, she has an aggressive personality, a little diva at times...all the things that irritate me about MYSELF. (lol)

i almost walked out on our friendship already more than once...because it is not easy.

but i won't take the easy route out..because we are gifts to each other.

the other night...i was going through. i felt like i was on the verge of a break down. i had an appointment to meet with her at her crib. so i showed up, but things weren't going according to plan. i was getting ready to leave without saying what was on my heart. she said, "Chan, what's going on with the *****?" I stopped in my tracks because it was the exact issue i was stressed about. i couldn't believe it, so i said, "what made u ask me that?" she said she didn't know. so i started telling her...and broke down crying.

she grabbed my hand and said," let's pray." we walked in another room, away from the kids and she, i, and our friend Marcus began to pray. she and Marcus prayed for me...i couldn't talk, i could hardly breathe between sobs. i've never quite had something so powerful initiated by my friends before. it was amazing.

relationships really are so precious. and are worth the work.

i'm learning so much about genuine LOVE. and starting with loving myself, i'm not settling for that psuedo stuff anymore. i recognize the real deal. i'm doing just fine right now too, "single, saved, satisfied", and better than okay!!