It's gon' b alrite

You ever had one of those moments when everything in your world just collides?
well that happened to me this past weekend.
Saturday, I had had a beautiful day spending time with my fam and friends at a cook out...
Towards the end of the day, when I shoulda been relaxing I was feelin my stress levels rising.

My kids were at the movies with my church youth ministry and I was trying to get a hold of my girl Trina to find out some pertinent info about a party we were invited to. My cell phone was off and that was stressful enuf. Every time I saw someone with a phone I tried to grab it to call her...when I finally reached her she had an attitude 'cause I wanted to know how to get there and how long it would be (since i had to get my kids, i knew i'd be late) so after hearing her fuss...the stress increased more. So I decided not to go.
On top of that, I wanted badly to spend time with my "boyfriend" and he promised that we would. However, after I picked up the kids from the church, dropped off someone and was on my way home it was about 10pm and he had NOT contacted me. When I called him, he didn't answer.I didn't wanna go out or anything...I just wanted to be with him and tell him how I was feeling. It was the day before mother's day and I was missing my mom so much.

My ride home was solemn. The kids had been tired out, so they were all sleep. And the radio was quiet, it was a full moon...all I could hear were my thoughts. I felt the tears in my eyes but I was still determined NOT to cry. It might seem like nothing but to me... it was overwhelming.
I thought about the people in my life, who I thought would be there forever but won't. I thought about the disappointment of being taken advantage of and not valued, I thought about so many things and of course missing my mother.
Once I got home, I tossed and turned in the bed until I fell asleep only to be awakened by a 1:30 am phone call from the man I was waiting to hear from.
He had no excuse or explanation...in fact somehow it was my fault that we weren't gonna see each other.I felt fire in my gut...even in my sleepy state. I hung up.

Life is full of a whole bunch of ups and downs...but those tears that were welling up seemed to be telling me something...like it's gonna be okay. Don't they say that the endorphines released when you cry help comfort and heal? Well, I don't know...but I know that a lot of the things I was thinking about still occur to me and hurt. But I know it's gon' be alrite.

*ps..I wanted to tell my best friend Greg thank you for ALWAYS being there 4 me.
Thank u 4 encouraging me last nite. i luv u.