just clearing up some things...

lol
i'm laughing at myself because i'm so silly.
and the fact that emotions make me flimsy.
some people can just override their emotions with
ease. you know, brain over heart.
not i, said the cat. lol

i'm all heart. all love. all emotion.
altho i recognize the need to temper that
with some wisdom, intellect, and discretion.
it just isn't as easy as it seems to put
those things into action.

especially when i care about you.
as soon as i get good and ready
to walk away from you...
you find a way to pull me back in.

you call, send me a pic
remind me of what you can do
for me. lol
and i go for it.
silly me....

such a girl....
so in love...

but you don't love me.
you don't have time for me.
you like having me in the wings tho
don't you?
think i'm mindless enuf
to believe your
schuckin and jiving? lol

you don't give me enuf credit.
i sent u a text message last night.
i was saying that...
i have one man in particular
and about three in general
that call me
wanna come see
wanna be with me...
lol
but naw, i'm not interested
cause of you, that is.

they try to touch me?
i move away.
a kiss?
forget about it.
sex??
not even a little bit.

ha!
i'm so silly...
and so is this whole thing.
but as they say, matters of the heart...
complicated
to say the least
the very least.

ugh!
i'm so disappointed in my self
my lack of firmness
not being steadfast.
my yes being yes
and my no, no.

but don't get it twisted
i understand
i see the picture
i can take a hint
i get the point...
lol
the thing is
you don't want me to.

you want your empty
confessions of love to hold me.
you think that telling me
that you want to
please me
see me
love me
is enough....

but naw,
it ain't.
actions MUST follow.

so...
this time.
PLEASE
just let me walk away.
don't call
don't text
none of that.

because you aren't serious
and really...
neither of us have the time.

life is short
and i need to clear the way,
my heart and mind
for the things
and the man
that GOD has for me.