Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Oh u ain't got nuthin to say??


I have a blog site on yahoo too...not really cause I wanted it, I felt pressure to create it. Darn this dag on cyber world! I have a facebook and Hi5 page all because of the same pressures...I am invited to join a group, a website...or something almost daily. UGH!
But, I was reading someone's blog on 360...which I've found to be a large percentage of swingers and other sexually driven folx. In the post, he asked how come these people only talk about sex...and that when posts are explicit the comments soar. But blogs that have something to say...the commenters pass them by. I'm not sure if that is much different here blogspot. But it definitely isn't as extreme as yahoo 360.
I have seen blogs that consist of a sentence like ...what is your favorite position? or What turns you on? that end up with an over load of predictable responses.(look @ u answering in your head..lol)
Why is that? I mean I have a theory, but what do u think?

I remember a while back, some one said to me "Chandra all you talk about is men." It was an awakening moment for me. I started thinking and evaluating my life. Asking myself...do I have anything else worth discussing? The answer, a resounding OF COURSE! In that moment, I realized that I had gotten lost because of my pain. I used men as an anesthetic. They looked good, they made me feel good, they took my mind off the things that I didn't wanna deal with. I was hurt, lonely and looking for a physical manifestation of love.
I mean I didn't do drugs, wasn't much for anything more than an occasional martini, and was much too broke to indulge in shopping. So what was my drug of choice??? Men. and by default sex.
(confession<<good for the soul, bad for the reputation)
We in general all a hurting, empty, broken unfulfilled people...by design.

We search and search, looking for ways to gratify ourselves. Ways to make us feel good (physically) and feel good (emotionally). We enjoy the immediate high...whatever it is, but we come down. So as to keep from staying down...we do it, over and over and over again.
We settle...thinking we are getting what we want...but ultimately, everytime...there is a point that we become aware that this thing...isn't fixing anything...and before long we r chasing a high that never quite comes. Drugs...you can't quite get high enuf, alcohol...you wake up alone in a strange place...with a banging headache, Shopping...you spend more than you have and don't even like the way it looks once you get it home, and Sex...it just doesn't satisfy like you imagined...or he just can't hang.
Either way u end up...sitting somewhere, slumped over...painfully aware.

The question is...what do we do with our awareness?
Futher self indulge, ignore it...or turn to the only ONE who can satisfy us?
It's clear what most folx choose...
We don't wanna be challenged, we don't wanna have restraint...we don't wanna do anything other than what WE wanna do.
If the things folx comment on are any sign....it's not looking good.
Cause' when it comes to the worthwhile things...you ain't got nuthin to say.

So sure...sex is exciting...we all enjoy it. But there is so much more to life...and having a sexual life that is contrary to what God requires of us is ultimately damaging. My prayer? That everyone experiences...life as God intended it. Full...of abundance, joy and sex in its proper context.

Smooches ya'll




53 comments:

brainhell said...

You are right about the vast response to shallow talk about sex. And that most people want to avoid self-awareness and an honestly-lived life. Just BTW, some people use Jesus to hide from life. Your criticisms are valid, and I'm glad your solution works for you.

feels good b n FREE said...

@brain hell
as far as the comment about Jesus...I think it's funny YOU mentioned Him. Although I didn't write His name once in this post...glad to see that He is still evident in my posts. :)
As far as people using Jesus to hide from life...maybe. But I'd arge that these people would use anything to hide from life...Jesus is what they choose.
But Jesus, the Christ, is why I can live life...NOT hide from it. It is because of Christ that I have survived losing my mother,poverty, having twin babies born 3 months early and close to death, being homeless, abused, and marriage failing. People have ended it for less...
Life is gonna happen...the bad and the harsh and the ugly are inevitable. But I have the hope that Jesus Christ brings.
I am happy to have a savior who loves me unconditionally,who forgives me repeatedly, who shed innocent blood for me, who hears me when I pray, who comforts me when life sux, who provides when I'm in need, who is always there...never failing...in every situation! A God who accepts me as I am...whatever that is...He is not like man( not even the ones who "represent" Him)
I'm so glad about that. Yeah, Christ is my reason to live...it works for me and if you gave Him a try...I KNOW He'd do the same for you.
Be blessed..and thanx 4 coming by.

TrinaBeingTrina said...

I love what you are saying here. I especially love whay you said about becoming aware that you had more to talk about then just men.

Since you confessed your drug of choice I'll confess mine...Money!! I know it doesn't sound that bad but sometimes I think being to materialistic will stop me from truely loving someone for them instead of what they can do for me. (confession>>good for the soul, bad for the rep.)

Anonymous said...

My my my...this woman never ceases to amaze me. It's amazingly sad and depressing how we try to use things of the earth to fulfil the voids in our lives. Sex, drugs, money....all just things that we use to try to fill this bottomless pit in our souls that always seems to keep us from what we think is wholeness. In reference to the comment made by brainhell...'some ppl use Jesus to hide from life'...I pitty these people. Jesus came that we could not live life...but to HAVE life..to possess it...and not only that, but to possess it in ABUNDANCE...we that are in Christ should be living our lives on an uncontroled, undeserved high known to most as joy. A life in Jesus is a life in fullness, without a void, unless of course you just choose to maintain one. So boo to those whw use Jesus to "hide" from life...God gave us all things to enjoy and I want to live and serve as an example that the things of this world have nuthing on the supernatural substance that God has poured into me to make me ultimately complete...and sex, the way it's meant to be employed, can only add to life's fulfilment..if u know what i mean(just decided I'd throw that in...I'm so ready)...Love you too Diamond...)

Danielle said...

Hey DRC
Thx for visiting,
just wanted to say hey
and have a good day :)

Leesa said...

I really enjoyed this entry. Yeah, most of us prefer the shallow. I started out just hanging my erotic stories here (there were 11 at the time). Now I spend most of my blogging - well, I started blogging - talking about what I want to talk about.

And I have been surprised that I get more responses to things of importance. Maybe my erotica is really bad. Who knows.

Again, loved the post.

MZPEACH said...

I did too. Totally in agreeance with Leesa. I will pray for you Grandfather right now. I am sorry to hear that. Yes, there are so many more serious things going on is this world. You are definitely a beautiful person inside and out. Stay strong. I love that God and Jesus are a big part of your posts and your life. I am still seeking to build a closer relationship with God. So you are very inspiring. I am so apologetic, that you had to see me acting ugly.

Casey said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog... I will be back to yours...

God bless,

Casey

Thanks for adding me to your blogroll

Friar Tuck said...

As you wrote, it made me think....I took a class on ministering to addicted people in seminary. And one of the things we discussed--which I later saw on an HBO series about drug use--is that we are always chasing the first high. And the first high is always the best. With the use of drugs, you are always trying to get back to the feeling you felt the first time.

It is not quite the same with sex...but there are similarities. With anything like that we are often chasing after an ideal instead of working with the best of what life gives us.

And, I agree with brainhell a little bit. I think that treat Jesus like a drug that meets their need for a fix instead of worshipping him at times.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

I like you baby, your blog is flavorful. Your sapience flows.

San Nakji said...

I think this was a well written post, nice.

Brotha Buck said...

ONe problem. You didn't give us the URL to that shallow sex talk! Dang!

**off to do my own looking around**

The Gig said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. You have an interesting one here yourself. I think that the reason you are always being invited to join different things is because you have something to say and you are about something. You go girl.

princessdominique said...

Girl you are right about that. You don't have to put sex in everything or sexual positions just to get comments. I mean after all keep it thought provoking if those are the kinds of people you want trolling your place. That was a great post!

Superstar Nic said...

I agree that this was a really good post to.

I think that part of the reason that sex talk sells is because so many people are interested in it. It is one of those things that almost everybody has in commons.

Another reason for the interest in 'shallow posts' for me is because my work is sooooo serious (deadline oriented) and I'm also in school working on my PhD, so when I do my net surfing and blogging, I'm mainly just trying to unwind, relax, and be entertained. Sometimes, this just doesn’t leave a lot of room for ‘serious issues’.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that serious issues shouldn’t be discussed or anything like that, its just that 8 times outta 10, I’m looking more so for something that will entertain me or make me laugh once I’m taking a break from school and work.

Tilina said...

I love ur post Chan, everything is true! Keep writing, I'm loving it!

Friar Tuck said...

I think a lot of people are missing the issue with a lot of people and their sexual behavior.

And I think you allude to it in this post without saying it.

I think a lot of times sexual promiscuity is tempting for one simple reason: There are a lot of lonely people out there. Even if they are in the middle of the crowd. A lot people longing to be held and loved unconditionally, and giving yourself sexually seems to be a way to do that.

But if it is not right, a lot of times you end up more sad and lonely than when you started.

feels good b n FREE said...

@trina..yeah girl. I know that what u have confessed is tru..lol...u know i'm tellin the truth too huh? Remember that convo don't u?
@incomp..I luv ur comments. thanx for further breaking it down..i can count on a brutha...lol. luv u too
@dan..yeah np..i had to see what all the talk was about..lol
@leesa..I don't know about the quality of ur erotica,,lol
but i'm just glad that u stopped by and thought enuf to comment.
@GP thanx for prayin 4 my grandaddy.It's kool about the drama and everything. To each it's own. Thanx for chekin in wit me.
@latinchik...i was so moved by what u type that i have to address it personally. i always luv seein u come thru...i'll b in touch wit u soon.
@casey...no problem!
@tamiko..i am encouraged every time you comment. Encouraged to know u r still coming thru and to read your uplifting words, to have such a sister and to be on one accord is priceless...yeah we do have much in common...but the biggest and best thing is Christ.
@bossmack..that's nice..thanx
@san...thanx
@brothabuck...see u ain't right..lol
@thegig...wow, thanx for the compliment..yeah i'ma keep on going..lol thnx 4 tha comment
@princessdom...that's so tru
@nsearch...tru we all have sex and sexuality in common..but we have other things in common to. We are human..so we have just about everything in common. Laughing,crying, going places, loving, watching tv, work stress...and so much more.
I enjoy my share of fluff..but I try not to indulge too much in the sexual realm..because it ain't just fun and games...
Besides there r so many ways to unwind...and a blog that is about something...don't have to be serious.
@Tilina...thanx girly...where u been...how's the girls? hope to see u soon!
@donjuan..thank u so much! this is so tru and I couldn'ta said it better myself!

luv to u all..thanx for ur lengthy commemts..lol

glory said...

yeah!

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