Monday, December 29, 2008

Randomotions...to love him or leave him alone


Humanity never ceases to amaze me. There is this "girl"(from my man's past) who insists on playing mind games and trying to psychologically manipulate people around me to negatively affect my relationship with him. It ain't nothing new, these tactics. Baby mommas and exes all around the world employ them. Yet, I find myself fighting to remain unaffected. On top of this, he has a few other exes who have made their hate for our relationship known, as well as letting him (and the world) know how much they still love him.

He wants me to ignore all that, and hang in there with him. He tells me to be confident and secure in my place. And usually, that is not a problem. Yet, here lately I'm feeling more and more like I am being drained with this negative energy from outsiders who wish they could be in my place. Even understanding that it is foolish nonsense and hate isn't 100% enough to let it roll off my back.

It gets me to wondering if I can deal with this kinda thing for long term. I mean, my daddy taught me that drama is for tv, not for my life. I live by that motto. When things get a little too dramatic, I take a few steps back and reevaluate whether some people, places, or things need to be eliminated from my cypher.
So this is where I am.

Although, I wanna stay with him more than ever...just to thwart their efforts. And of course there is the way more logical and somewhat emotional side that says..."Chan you don't have to deal with this mess!"
Even though I love him so much, and I do. Even though he loves me, and I'm sure of that. Some things are deal breakers...and I'm just trying to decide if this is mine. ???

3 comments:

Friar Tuck said...

"drama is for tv...not for life" is a good motto

feels good b n FREE said...

right, i fully agree.
i want the abundant life...u know with more peace and calm and love than not. u know??
i'm leaving the mess behind, in 2009.
i can't help but use those silly new year rhymes...lol
how r u friar?

feels good b n FREE said...

anyway...it's over now.
and finally...i can BREATHE