People don't like to deal with emotions...mostly because it involves vulnerability and being vulnerable is all together taboo now a days. Besides after enough hurt, we instinctively want to guard ourselves.I told you all that I had met a man that was showing me the sweet side of courtship. A "sport" that I figured was close to extinct. But he as well as J (look back in the summer archives) helped restore my faith in the possibilities.
These last couple of days have been especially emotional. Meeting a new man is exciting but in my case my excitement is being tempered by unresolved emotions from a relationship that abruptly ceased. Without closure.
My struggle is, how do I move forward now? I like the new guy. Still deep inside I'm unsettled. It's like that Dru Hill song, "What do I do with the love?" I still have a persistent love for someone else. I don't see him, we don't talk...but he is constantly on my mind, in prayers and in my heart.
Still there is someone who is physically here. Who I enjoy spending time with and my heart is still holding out. It seems clear that letting go and moving forward is my only option, but doing it is difficult. As my connection to this past relationship is emotional.
So I'm praying so that I'll have the strength to truly let go and be open and available to whatever and whomever God has in store for me.
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25 comments:
Ok......
Give yourself a break. How many times have you dated this guy? Two times?
Take things slow. Enjoy the journey. You dont have to rush into a relationship!
Sooner or later a door will open to the future and you will be able to let go of what is behind and press on toward what is ahead.
@friar...indeed
i honestly don't even know if a relationship is what I desire with this guy...and this seperate from the man I still have feelings for.
it's not as much about me being with this new guy as it is about him forcing me to see that I have some unresolved emotions that if left undealt with could really block my future blessings...
*yes, I've only gone on 3 dates with this man...with several more on the horizon.
oh n btw...i have been out of a relationship with this other person for 6 months now...i feel like i should be WAYYY over it.
there is no time limit to getting over a relationship ... sometimes we never get over them. the key is to put your feelings in perspective. do you wanna get back with this dude or do you just want closure. I agree with friar ... take it slow with the new guy. there is no reason to rush into anything.
thanks for stopping by my spot.
I don't have the answer because I am pretty much in the same situation, minus unresolved feelings for the last man. If the last one hurt you, you need to let him and open your heart to the one who wants to cherish you as you deserve to be treated. Six months out of the old relationship is not a long time, especially if it was a long term relationship. Have you explained to the new man what is happening and that you need to take things slowly? If it is meant to be long lasting it will all work out.
...let him go...let him go! That's what I meant to say. LOL
@chele...thanks for the kind words. I will keep in mind the time limit thing...
i miss the old guy..but either way i need some sort of closure. i still love him.
i definitely will take things slow with the new guy...I am in no rush.
i'll be back by ur place too. :)
@berry...u r so silly girl!
I haven't fully explained this to the new guy.I don't wanna scare him off...but as I said I will take things slowly and what will be I know will be.
@tam...i see you know where i'm coming from. in my case both men are believers. the past however belongs to a church that encouraged him to cut off everyone in his past so that he can be a "new" person. I was a casualty...
but you are right.
as my brother puts it...don't make someone a priority who sees you as an option...
sheesh...just trying to purge myself of the feelings...so that i can be prepared for whatever is next.
HEY GURLIE!!! I know how u feel.. i know how it is to try to move on, and feel like u wanna close the last door. But on the other hand, gurl if GOD has blessed you.. keep on movin!! DONT LOOK BACK!! lol figure out whats best for you, regardless what ppl may say.. DO YOU!
hmmmm...a quandary indeed....
I was in that situation. I moved on and had to swallow the bitter pill of "no closure" in silence and eventually put that old love in a bottle. But.....I think it would've been better if I had gotten over the OLD first.....
Because I wasn't totally open to the new.....not totally. Because believ me, you will CONTINUE to think about,pray for,etc. this ex UNTIL you are ready to let go.
Just walk slowly and pray for guidance girl.....I know your concerns all to well!
Your profile pic is cute. I don't think I've seen that one before.
I say just take it easy, one day at a time, and just go with the flow. There is no rush. No reason that you have to iron out your feelings right this moment. Just take it easy and it will come to you. Things will become clearer all by themselves with out you even having to try!
Take care!
Seriously...you've got to clean out the old to make room for the new. I got my closure when he finally realized his mistakes and called to basically apologize. By then, the other one had made his move. Open up your heart to the new love and close it to the old one. No point in looking over your shoulder.
hey you know this is a touchy subject to me! so insted of relying on my opinions, i will fall back on my biblical calling to preach to you, Watch this baby...... in order for ISReal to go into the promise land they had to realize that MOSES was dead! JOSHUA cant take his position if we dont let Moses DIE.
me
God is so much BIGGER and BETTER than all of our problems. Give this situation to GOD. HE always comes through with something that HE knows is best in every situation everytime.
GOD BLESS YA
yo yo i just stopped back by to see if you responded to my comment... (which you havent... you slipping! lol) but i mst admit you know how to do woders with that eye cam. lol. The picture is ok for my sister... but it would be HOT if you were a stranger......i mean cant let you think too highly of your self...lol but f i didnt know you, i would think it was a beautiful pic. ........Damn i guess with GOd anything is possible. lol
hehehehehehehe
unc
Hey, lady!
if you're feelin the new guy, i would say go for it, but be warned that if you don't find peace with the past situation it WILL haunt your new relationship.
you know what needs to be done...just think on it
@chosen...hey mama! thank u for ur words of encouragement! i'm glad u came thru...come back k? xoxoxo
@robyn...it's good to know folx out there can relate.I am taking it slow and seeking guidance as you said. i don't even know that this new guy is for me...but i just need to get rid of the old.
@n search..thanx 4 the compliment ma! n yeah i feel you and everyone..i will indeed take it day by day.
@berry...you're right, thanx for coming back. i know u are steering me in the right direction..you can't go forward looking back huh?
@yo!! unc..i feel you. you always have the right words of encouragement. i guess i'ma have to get my dagger and kill moses...lol
just kiddin
@tam..i luv u gurl, and i appreciate them emails!!!
@casey...I know God is in control!
@unique again...u r so silly boy! i luv u and sorry i was slippin. lol
and u stoopid about my picture...u know i'm fiiine nigro..lol j/k
yeah all things are possible with the Lawd on' my side! hey! halle!
*cuttin my step* lol
@brownsoul...wow, you are so right. i do like this guy but as i said to everone i'ma pace myself..butindeed the old has to be dealt with, thanx for the guidance
luv to u all!
I am so here right now...
Speak on it:)
mz. dee dee...i'm speakin girl...lol
First of all the pic is real cute. But why do you have to love e'ry dam body. Just be like me. Luv em and leave em alone ;-)
I know,I'm trifling.....haha
@trina...u know me wit my huge heart...
i wanna be like you...
"i wanna b down"
lol
*thanx 4 compliment
i'm back again because I really need to be taking my own damn (darn) advice. It seriously wrecks havoc on a new situation when the old one has your mind playing trix on you. LOL Do what you feel is best chick. Life is a journey...get there the best way you know how. :-)
@berry...lol..i feel u
i'm making my way...
smooches
I'm praying for your strength too! Hang in there!
Sometimes we have closure and don't realize because it wasn't closure in the way we wanted it. I finally realized that this summer. He had given me closure, just not the way I wanted (or even specifically asked for) it. The heart is a tender matter and maybe this new guy, whether he lasts or not, can just help you let go of your previous love? God works in amazing ways in through people I certainly wouldn't have thought. Just keep your mind open to what He might be telling you. Blessings!
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