It's just me

So I guess you can say that I choose nievety. Does it make sense? Ignorance is bliss, and truth hurts. Some things I just don't want to assume. Isn't something wrong if I always assume the worst? Isn't it horrible when you bring baggage from past hurts, and disappointments into your future? When you impose the wrongs done to you by others onto new people?
It has been my choice to try to resist being calloused. Every single day, every single year, every single relationship I make genuine effort to start with a clean slate. But is that nieve? I like not to think of it as that. It isn't that I don't know people will let you down. It's not that I don't remember the pains, and disappointments...it's just I have hope that it's gotta get better. It's got to. This, life, has to be trial and error. If not. If we won't one day get it right or real close to right, what are we living for? If we can't hope for joy, happiness, fullness, abundance, and true love...what do we strive for?
I realize that there is a thin line between forgiveness and plain stupid forgetfulness. I'm not a dummy, but am I wrong for choosing to look for the best in an individual or a situation first?
Am I a glutton for punishment? Knowing that when I find out something horrible, or am faced with a bad situation...my stomach starts turning, I can't eat, sleep, and cry until I'm in a water bed. But then I get it out and get over it....And it starts again.
Am I crazy? Isn't there something good to be said for an open, and hopeful, positive heart?
I don't know. But I think I'm on the down side right now...
But as my momma used to say, this too will pass. And I still look forward with anticipation.
Call me nieve, call me crazy, call me...Chan.