It's not a game

First let me say hello!
This isn't my first blog...but I'd figure I'd try another one. My name is Chandra and I just wanna write...excuse me type sometimes to just vent and get things off my chest, sometimes just to work thru some things, so read along as I narrate my inner workings.

Anyway about the title. I wouldn't exactly say that I'm dating right now. But I do have friends. Friends that at one time may have had "benefits" but none of which are luxuriating in such any longer. I've decided that I'd hold on to my amazing, wall banging, oh-mi-goodness-u-betta-never-give-this-2-anybody-else gift until my husband arrives. But don't ask me to explain, I know a lotta ya'll hoe nigros and nigrettes think life will just dry up and die without regular sexual activities. I KNOW many of you are my friends.
Now, back to what I saying. I have friends. But one in particular. His name is Jason. We connected on a spiritual level. He exposes himself emotionally, and spiritually to me. The things that he is disappointed about, where he feels like he's fallen short.
When his boys are around, he jokes about how he's gon' get some from me when he comes over to my crib. But every time he visits we choose not to give in. It's not even to much of a struggle. The first four times we spent time we didn't even kiss, nothing more than lay in each other arms,talk, watch movies, and sleep. Our fourth visit we had a on-the-lip kiss and last night he kissed me (for real) .
He said to me last night "I'm not worried about the sex, I know that'll be fine. I wanna see how you treat your man." He laughed when he was leaving saying "why you acting like you ain't gonna give me none?" Before I could say anything, he said "you're manipulating the game." My mouth dropped...."This is no game" I like Jason SO much that I don't even want to be quick with it. I been there and done that. He and I are worth more. He's precious, not average...the average dude woulda been like CYA!!
He told me "keep doing what you doin,I like it. Keep letting it build."
It ain't a game ya'll. Watch. . .