A good reminder...

I know that I have a gift...writing. I love to do it, I express myself well when I write. I try to talk sometimes and the words run away from me, or get jumbled, but when I write I'm free, empowered. I got my degree in English,'cause it came easy...but when I came across a poem I wrote a year or so ago,I thought...wow, who wrote this?? I finished reading it,saw my initals at the bottom, and smiled! Not to toot my own horn, but toot toot :)
I needed the affirmation of reading it again 'cause I've been struggling with issues of self.

So here it is: it was written to an ex, as I made my exit. :)

u say u love me
but i can't feel it
and when i'm with you
that's all i want...
to feel it
all of it
from my inside out.
sometimes the way you look at me
makes me feel beautiful.
but when you're away
wonder persists
i long for the bliss
of ignorance...
but it evades me
and awareness
destroys.
i've never wanted you
to stay and leave
as badly as this.
i'm enamored with your scent
the way your skin feels
the texture
the color
beautiful
i love you
you're imperfect and i accept it
fallen in love with it
you say you love me
but you don't love me like this
strong and unconditional
lemme teach ur love a thing or two
you say love
i act love
but i'm tired of emptying my soul
loving you...
who use words
with no movement
to love
and i'm tired of believing
those words are the truth
so i have to go now
pack my love and my shoes
wipe up the tears and get one last kiss
you say you love me,
why have I never felt it?
written by CNB