As I grow I learn to desire the esteem of people less and less. And that isn't just the "Christian" thing to say. I mean, without even knowing it, I lived so much of my 20 something years trying to make sure that people approved of me. Well, that they thought well of me, at least. Of course there were some I didn't care about, but there were many that I did. BUT, I'm so tired of trying to please people. I'm making the effort to do what I do for the pleasure of God and Him alone. I find myself in dangerous territory when people's opinions and thoughts weigh too heavily on my mind; and I'm learning to be more quiet, "slow to speak, quick to listen." I've always wanted to share my dreams and hopes with everyone, but time and life and growing in Christ has shown me that many of those things closest to my heart ought to be kept between God and I... and perhaps a VERY, selected few.
I don't talk too much about law school, because it is not about me. At one time, if I woulda got in, whenn I wanted to...I woulda took the credit. I woulda tooted my own horn and said, yeah well, I,I I....but today, all I can say without a shadow of a doubt, is that this opportunity is all about pushing me in the direction that GOD wants me to go in, so that I will be better able to serve in Him, and to advocate for those who don't have a voice...
God has used the selected few in my life to reflect His view of me. People who aren't afraid to tell me when I'm wrong, and love me as I am. They challenge me to be better, and make me want to invest time in becoming the woman God intends for me to become. They really are the only PEOPLE whose opinion carries weight to me. And so, Instead of focusing so much on what people think, I've decided to focus on what God thinks. I already know that people are always gon' talk...but, I'm too busy using my time, gifts and talents for the Lord, serving Him, and loving others, and leanig on God when I don't know what else to do. It don't matter so much what people think, all that matters is God being pleased.
Monday, June 02, 2008
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