Why is it that you have to play games in life to get what you want?
I hate to harp on the issue of relationships, but I was thinking about this and it's got me so frustrated. I mean...why can't we just be real with one another?
So much hurt...from whatever source, I concluded, has caused the game playing.
What's the game u ask???
It's the "I'm not that interested, chase me game."
Somehow, one of the people in the relationship (particularly in the beginning) has to pretend like they can take it or leave it. I mean, I've done it before. Not too often, but never the less.
Anytime I play that part...the man (whomever) is all about the chase...all about loving me. THE MOMENT, I say okay...I feel that too. It's the fall back. Are you kidding me?
I mean, come on now.
I get frustrated because anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a very (perhaps to a fault) loving person. I just love folx. I mean, when I decide to love someone...that's that.
So when I expose myself emotionally I get run over...It's happened multiple times.
So I'm sad tonite...that's right for once, no upbeat posts.
My feelings are hurt, my heart is discouraged. Why do my exes want me so badly now?? "nodoby ever loved me like you", "nobody can... like you", "I love you", "I need you",
"I miss you"
But why now?
Can somebody tell me that? Why didn't u love me like that when I was loving you so hard?
Why didn't you love me like that when you was sleeping with her? How bout when u kicked me down the steps? How bout when I was living in a motel, pregnant ? Why didn't you love me like that when I needed someone to hold me? When I was loving you? When I was real with you?
Why? I wasn't the object of your affections when I couldn't sleep at night, throwing up, SICK because I didn't know where you were. Dead? With another woman?
The nights I cried myself to sleep when you was on lock? I, holding you down?
Now you love me.
What's up with this pattern? It must be me, but I swear all I did was love them.
Somebody asked me last night...when are you gonna get tired of settling for less than what u deserve?
Last night I was riding in my "boyfriends" brand new, amazing, clout raising vehicle with tears rolling down my cheeks and I wondered to myself...Will it ever change?
I still got hope, and maybe I shouldn't. But I'm hoping...one day, I'm not gonna have to play no games to get affection, I'm not gonna have to be beat up and walked on to earn true love and I'm not gonna have to settle for the things that look nice...
If my steps are ordered by God, and I believe they are then I just have to believe there is purpose in all this and that one day it's gonna be real.
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19 comments:
It's a test and you can be strong and pass it. Leave them where you found them and keep moving forward. They are just grooming you for what you deserve. Stay strong and keep praying. :-)
@berry...if only u know how precious and meaningful your words are. thank u...for real
@tam...i know all u say is the truth. thank u for the reminder and encouragement.
luv u
I know how you feel...I've been there before...(read my latest post titled...Be Careful What You Wish For) Be strong, and keep praying. There is nothing too hard for God. Even when we think that someone is right for us, we soon realize that what we feel is right, might not be what God wants for us. I know it's hard but wait on him...he will come.
"If my steps are ordered by God, and I believe they are then I just have to believe there is purpose in all this and that one day it's gonna be real."
That is so true. Everything is meant for a person. There is somebody out there for you. Finding them is the hardest thing about it. I understand what you mean by feeling hurt or used. Sometimes it feels like we are getting the nasty end of the deal.
STAY STRONG, FOCUSED, DETERMINED, AND KEEP YOUR EYES ON CHRIST and YOU WILL REMAIN STRONG, FOCUSED, and DETERMINED.
God Bless you - Casey
and that should be "Everything is meant for a purpose"
sorry
I understand. I am there too. Why is it that when you decide to stop playing games, you feel like you just played yourself? I know that I am not meant for everyone and neither are you. You keep on stepping out on faith (I know I am) and keep hoping. The Love we need and want will find all of us.
I hate all the games and stuff.
That is probably the reason I have been single so long. That and my general appearance, but there are a lot of ugly folks with happy marriages.
I don't want to play the games. I am not willing to put up with the crap.
I hope you don't settle. You are too sweet, too smart, and to beautiful to settle for anything less that what you deserve.
@luvinme...you are right. thank you for encouraging me. I really trust that God has it under control
(i just don't FEEL it all the time)
@casey...you always have the right words to say. It is true that we must stay focused on Christ...because as soon as our focus shifts (for any moment of time) our perspective changes.
*refocusing* The best IS yet to come.
@kita...faith is the key and life and my emotions often test my tenacity of faith...but in the end, my faith wins. U know?
@latinchik...hey sweetie! thank u for your nice words. indeed i don't need a man to be alright. Sometimes I feel lonely, discouraged, disgusted, and the like...but feelings are like the weather if you live long enuf they'll change.
So i'm actually hopeful that God has the best 4 me.
@friartuck...i hate the games too.
but i don't appreciate it one bit!
thank u for the sweet words...i have to remember, I'm worthwhile.
@tam...*pumping the brakes!*
lol, i hear u girl and you're so right.
Even tho' I have not been through all that you have (the abuse and homelessness,etc..) this post almost brought me to tears cuz I feel you? Sometimes I think of this a training for my man, whomever he is. I have to endure some not so peachy keen stuff so when he comes around, I'd know him and appriciate him that much more....
.....or something like that....
@ladynay...i was thinking about that today.
When the time comes...I will be so ready and so appreciative!
i know the same is tru 4 u too!
luvluv
My luv is treading in shallow waters. It's not that deep. That's why my black ass ain't never gettin' married...haha
Luv ya!!
@trina...lol
oh lawd!...i know u SAY that. and it might be real right now, but I'm still thinking Prince or...lol maybe THUG charming (is that an oxy moron??? it ain't tho is it?? lol) is gon' come and sweep you off your feet...and me and Dan are already gettin in shape 4 them bridesmaid dresses...let's do the dag on thing ma....
Mr and Mrs Meet??? Maybe? Who knows?
lol
ps...they say opposites attract Treen...are we a prime example or what?
sheesh! and i don't think i could love u more. :)
Your such a lovey, lovey, lovey gal!
@buck...prolly too much huh?
lol
oh well, God made me like this...He's gotta have a reason 4 it. :)
Powerful post. I think every experience brings you closer to what you want. Stay strong and never settle for less than you deserve. Because the second you do that you will get less than what you settled for.
mzjj...wow, i've never quite heard it put that way, but i won't soon forget it.
thanx for reading, and for the kind words!
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